Lucky for me my parents were both “I didn’t save anything for retirement, my kids will take care of me when I’m older”, so I don’t have to suffer through this.
Mine didn’t. Gave it all to my golden child sister.
Good for her
“I got mine.”
My dad - who was an amazingly racist conspiracy theorist - gave all his money to 2 redhead women he started fucking after divorcing the woman he married after my mom died.
He chose not to leave me anything because I called him out for using the “n” word any time he talked about African Americans.
I’m out $150k
He is out having a legacy. My kids will never know his name, story, or hate.
Congrats I guess? You sound hateful and bitter as fuck
Nah.
Not sure why you’d say that, but you can think what you want.
Happy holidays!
Well, at least he fathered a decent kid, it seems. I don’t think it was his intention for you to turn out so decent, so I wouldn’t give him credit for that, but I guess he did something right despite all his efforts.
He didn’t, though.
Foster Care, then they adopted me.
Uhhhh at least… they…
nah, I got nothing. I can’t even muster a sarcastic backhanded defense for poor foster parents. Fuck that guy, and I’m glad you turned out well despite him.
You’re a good person. I didn’t normally share, but I feel I should.
I was put in foster care when I was 6/7 (I don’t remember well).
When I was 12, after 7 foster homes, my parents lost all parental rights. I was put up for adoption.
At that time, I was still with one of my brothers in a foster home.
We were told a couple was interested in us. We meet them a number of times, and had a few weekends at their place to test run it. They weren’t great, but they weren’t worse than other foster homes, so we decided to give it a try.
My brother lasted about 9 months before asking to go back to foster care. I decided to stay, because I was tired of moving.
I was adopted at 14, and moved out on my own at 17. I was tired of being reminded I was broken in some ways.
Fast forward to me being 21 and in the navy. We start talking again. By then I was beginning to learn what I now consider my personal morals. He was still racist. I wasn’t.
Fast forward to a few years ago. He’s still wildly racist. More so than before. I am now a very liberal person, advocating for homeless rights foster youth assistance, LGBTQIA+ rights, and equality all around. I have finally had enough. I call his bullshit out. About 2 years passes, and his 14th heart attack takes him.
That was 2 years ago. My oldest is 24. My next oldest is 18. They never met him. I just couldn’t bring myself to introduce them to the old school hate.
I was tired of being reminded I was broken in some ways.
I grew up strongly religious. There’s only so much “You’re a dirty sinner and all your suffering is God’s plan” you can take. I think I know how you feel.
his 14th heart attack
Damn, even Death really didn’t want him, huh?
They never met him. I just couldn’t bring myself to introduce them to the old school hate.
I think that’s the right choice. I wish the best for ypu and yours.
No this reasoning is flawed and used as an excuse for bad behavior. My father justified his alcoholism to himself by pointing out how independent all the kids turned out since he was useless, or how good we were with money because we could sense a scam from a young age as he was always trying to scam/manipulate us.
You can teach someone to cross the road by explaining the dangers and process to them, or you can teach them by driving enough cars into them that they either figure it out themselves (and carry the scars forever) or die. That doesn’t make you a good teacher
No, some people just raise up to the task.
I hate this idea that parents “did something good” if they are pieces of shit but their kids turn out good. Especially if there is no evidence of it. Why people feel the need to do that is a mystery for me, like protecting the bad guy at any cost.
Oh no, I’m not saying he did good. I’m saying he failed to do bad.
Sorry you got caught in the crossfire, but you did say, out of the blue:
I guess he did something right…
Right = correct. Not necessarily “good.”
It is the “correct” thing to obey the law, but since not all laws are good laws, obeying the law isn’t always “good.”
You’re missing the point.
Yeah, you’re right, the phrasing was awkward - the “despite his best efforts” was an attempt to subvert that sentence, but I guess it didn’t land.
No problem, I was probably nitpicking too.
It’s a valid thing to point out, important even to add context and nuance. I can’t know whether my point gets across right unless someone tells me, and I’d rather have someone point out where I could be misunderstood.
Have a nice week!
*without
Congratulations on being a decent person even though your role model was not. It’s hard to break that cycle.
Let me tell you, as someone with potentially a bit of wealth to give out when I kick the bucket, every week with my kids I get this idea at least once. In some ways, it’s the last bit of power we have until becoming of unsound mind. I’m hoping they’ll grow out of making me feel that.
Most people need to sell their estate to pay for end of life care, just tell your boomer parents they can spend their last days in whatever dumpster their meagre estate can afford and they might rethink their next cruise.
I get the anti Boomer sentiment, but the reality is many of them are very decent people.
My dad passed this year and now it’s just my mom left. She has a net with of about 2M. I’m doing just fine myself, And she gets by on about 70k a year (half of that goes to rent). I keep telling her she should spend more money on things that make her happy, but she’s good with what she has and doesn’t feel she needs more. She doesn’t want to travel and she has everything she needs.
Just because the boomer generation has left us with a dumpster fire, doesn’t mean that there isn’t a wide distribution of people within that age group. The truth is only a handful of us have the power to change anything and the rest of us are just trying to get by and get the most out of life that we can.
This is fucking dumb. I told my parents to spend it up. I’m not entitled to it
Yeah I find it a little funny that people complain about generational wealth and then complain about not getting an inheritance.
Do you live in a country where every young adult is given a free home automatically?
Getting an inheritance is generational wealth. How come generational wealth is ok but only if I’m the one receiving it?
Your question seems like a strawman. My comment was only about the apparent conflict between the two stances and I was not trying to make any comment about whether one or the other is the correct way.
Most money passes through generations that’s why it is real money.
But people do as they please
You’re entitled to something. The world is cruel but it brought you in. People can’t be like, “fuck these kids to life and let them die in a ditch.”
They can totally can say that as its there money. If they want to hand off any of there remaining assets to charity or the sate they totally can.
So my parents owe me their money because they burdened me with life? That’s an… interesting take.
You are very much a consequence of their actions, and to not acknowledge the duty of care that brings is neglect, in it’s way.
If you were to breed puppies and then cast them out onto the street to fend for themselves, or stop feeding them, as soon as you were bored of them that would be considered cruel.
I actually agree with you that they do not owe you their money, but that comes from my privilege of being able to survive comfortably without it.
It seems that our position in this particular argument is mainly supported by our own positions in life, so your mileage may vary on this one!
I’m not quite a boomer, but I do see this generation as just wanting hand-outs. -Oh wait… that’s just how it appears online because they’re the ones with all the time to post about it.
not eveyone get inheritances. what we need is social safety nets and to collect taxes on wealth.
My boomer dad: you probably won’t get anything because I’m paying [i.e. using my retirement] to take care of my [100 year old] mother
Me: that’s understandable
I’m pretty sure all of us have given up on any boomer giving us anything anyway
That should work out since most boomers didn’t get anything from their parents either.
What’s infuriating about this? Why the heck should I inherit something I haven’t worked for? I’ve always told my parents and grandparents that dying with an empty bank balance is the ideal way to go. Hell, preferably be in debt.
Inheritance is a stepping stone to get out of poverty over generations. If the next generation can build upon it.
The family financial obligations have become obliterated in American society. It is no longer the case that parents are expected to help their adult children establish themselves in a home and it is no longer the expectation that adult children financially care for their parents.
The loss of an inheritance is part of that.
Inheritance from who? Your poor parents?
I feel like inheritance is more something that keeps the rich rich and not something that makes the poor not poor. In a sense, other people inheriting things is (a part of) what keeps poor families poor.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to pass the product of your entire life to your offspring, surely. We can’t be so atomised. Where do you think it should go? Inheriting an empire is one thing, but why shouldn’t you be able to give your own house to your child? I say this as somebody disowned by their father.
My criticism isn’t aimed at parents who want to leave an inheritance to their kids. It’s directed at those kids who expect it from their parents, as if they’re somehow entitled to it.
I’m genuinely not sure what the ethical position is. Maybe they are. Having watched a generation squander the massive wealth gains of what will likely be a unique economic boom, I don’t necessarily think the consumption of that wealth in the name of “living” - often a euphemism for hedonism - is something to be celebrated.
Exactly my thoughts too. Life’s meant to be lived. Hoarding assets to save for an uncertain future is counterproductive even in terms of economy at large, if one’s inclined to think that way.
It creates expectations that don’t seem natural, and then leads to disappointments and bitterness when life does not go as planned, as it never will.
But then again, I get wanting to make things better for your children. But at least for me, it seems less prone to pure chance and circumstance if the efforts went into building a more sustainable, inclusive and supportive country to live in. And enjoy the ride while it lasts, since your pain and suffering will reflect on your children, want it or not. If things are tight and you get stressed from that, it’s always going to affect everyone around you, often negatively. If, instead, you could relieve that stress by not saving more than you need as a buffer here and now, or for something like a house (I.e not for some abstract future that might never come, for your children who might not live that far, but are here now, with you), that’s probably going to be much better for everyone. Smiles generate smiles and it’s not a zero-sum game. Life well lived is one with smiles, not one with fragile, ephemeral value of some sort stored away with sweat and blood.
But of course if there’s already too much to use realistically, why not do that then. But that’s an entirely different discussion altogether, if we ever should have something like that.
This apparently is a hard pill to swallow for some. They can’t wrap there head around having to work hard to eventually relax and enjoy life.
This is a very salty topic. It seems many are pining for their inheritances.
I agree with OP. I have zero material expectations of my parents. But, I do expect they return that grace and don’t use the past or possibility of inheritance to manipulate me. I’m very wary of codependence.
It comes from a time where your whole family lived in the same house and the kids eventually take care of their parents. In todays system where people usually dont live with their parents for very long, it doesnt really make sense anymore. People need money long before they get to the age where their parents die. Getting a bunch of money at 30, to establish a life/family, is much more useful and long term impactful than getting it at 50-60. So inheritance is a flawed idea from the start.
More like … “Boomers decide to watch and accelerate the burning of the world because they’re going to die soon anyway”
Oh this is me. Their house is packed and they keep buying more shit and going on international cruises. We’ll get nothing.
And that bothers you? Do you only care about money?
Related Twilight Zone clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMGJLZDLpUg
What a backwards and projecting take. Keep your pessimistic views to yourself.
“we set our money on fire and voted for trump. good luck” - boomers
You guys are getting a good luck?
“we love voting for trump despite being poor as fuck because we are complete morons that have been brainwashed by andrew tate and joe rogan clips on tiktok” -gen z men
class issue, not age issue. though i do understand getting frustrated at people who fall for the grift
Inheritance is clearly societal ill, and even on a personal level, depending on inheritance might cause family troubles
I’m suing my sister right now because her low life boyfriend talked her into short changing us. Then my mom died so I’m getting double. Yeah. Family troubles indeed.
