I (the brother) live with my parents and sister. My sister has been dating this guy since early 2024. He’s 11 years older than her, which I do find icky but a girl her age dating an older guy is pretty common here so whatever. My parents are cool with it, actually I’d go as far as to say they’re actively encouraging / fully supporting the relationship. They love this guy mostly because he’s well educated and has a stable well paying “prestigious” job (lawyer with his own practice - so relatively well established too), is from a good, wealthy family; doesn’t drink, smoke, do drugs; has a calm and stoic demeanour, is a good influence on my sister, etc. My personal opinion of him is that he’s cold and rock-like; dry humour and domineering. I don’t particularly like interacting with him. I feel like he’s judging me & sees me as inferior.

My parents have allowed him to stay / spend the night with my sister at our house since the beginning. It ranged from a day/night, weekend, week… but his stays always had a deadline - until recently. Well, he stayed over for winter break (Dec-Jan) and just… never left. It’s February now and he’s still here. My parents still stay he’s just “staying over” and not “moved in with us”; but cmon now… he paid bills, buys groceries, etc… I feel uncomfortable having him around all the time. He’s not the warmest person to be around. And with this man around I feel like my personal space - privacy- has been invaded. I tried to tell my parents how I feel, but they just tell me I’m “antisocial”. Discussing with my sister is a no go as she’s madly in love with him. All of them are like does he bother you in any way? And for them “his presence” is not a valid answer.

  • rustyfish@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Well, excluding the part of him being 29 and her 17, he seems to be pretty ok. Has a positive influence on your sister, pays bills. So he isn’t freebooting. Even your parents like him.

    Your only problem with him is: you don’t like him.

    I get that. Sometimes you just don’t like a guy for no apparent reason and his presence alone is infuriating. So you are the problem here.

    You seem to be too young to move out, so you either learn to live with that or you will have a bad time. Try to build a connection with him. Doesn’t have to be super deep. He doesn’t have to be your new big brother. It’s enough to reach the “roommate” level of friendship.