Brave Little Hitachi Wand

It is, but you’re not keeping up

Oh god, we’re fucked if this thirsty moron replaces anyone

It’s a pretty safe bet.

Flowy thin capes that just make you look dramatic: cringe, impractical

Heavy, thick capes big enough to drape over a buddy for cuddles: hot + chad

Still an overstep IMO. Little people don’t look like kids, it’s super uncalled for.

This isn’t a professional context, so 👍

This level of childishness in a professional context is such a red flag.

I will be sick into your eyeballs

I’ll be 48 before long and I already disgust myself. None taken.

A proper “burrito sized” tortilla needs to be large enough to cover a small baby. Used to go to the restaurant supply store to get the real deal. Starting to think I should just get good at making them from scratch.

Sorry, it seems like I failed to acknowledge your point adequately. I cede fully the point about professionalism in this context, and agree that it isn’t up to snuff. I only hoped to stand up for the larger value of creativity and expressiveness of language in other contexts. I’m a fan of English, as I think you are too; to have a language as complex as ours is a high price, and I think it would be a shame not to enjoy the benefits. I know of no language more capable of shadings of connotation, and freedom of form, nor any so idiomatically rich.

Personally, I make a point to enjoy my language, and I don’t mind any newcomers getting things wrong here and there, as long as they manage to bring their own idiosyncratic creativity to it. Language is such a powerful tool that I feel the word itself has too mundane a connotation. I am obliged to write very boring emails for my work, and it is so stifling that I tend to spread my wings more in other contexts. If I seem defensive, it is because I do get complaints. I respectfully stand by it though, people should speak artfully more often - if artlessness in professional contexts is as much of a stylistic commandment as it seems to be, anyway.

It’s unprofessional in that context for sure, and it ticks the “mildly infuriating” box. But, at the risk of giving any unintended offense, I have to take issue with the idea of language purely as a tool. It’s our culture, and language is every bit as much an art as it is a tool. Poetry, rhetoric, humour, all of fiction and important aspects of the rest of literature - these are not mere data, they are language as art, freighted with cultural significance. Even if we were to invent a means of communicating telepathically without language as an intermediary, art and playfulness is an intrinsic element of communication. There is no message from one mind to another that cannot be made worse by artlessness or numbness of feeling. And I sincerely hope I was able to make the point artfully!

I know, just toying with the metaphor of a clogged drain.

I used to be a bit of a scold about grammar and spelling myself. A lack of style bothers me more nowadays. Everyone should feel welcome to play with our language. It doesn’t take a logodaedalus to construct an unglued apothegm, and we are all the richer for it; I am more disappointed by those who don’t try.

Counterpoint, messages like these clog my inbox.

It’s a game changer.

If by game one could mean a generational cycle of perpetually unfit parenting…

Not being glib - you will need this book.

God works in mysterious meats

First of all, I am a sociopath. You know I’m also very fragile about my self-perceptions about gender and status, so any intimacy or attempted emotional connection is a threat. I’ll pretend to be fine right now, but I’m definitely going to ruminate on this and lash out later for reasons not even I fully understand. So watch your ass.

Could you imagine the carnage in tech stocks if corporations realized ads are dogshit?

Condolences rescinded with extreme prejudice. I hope they have bad luck and a lot of life insurance willed to you.