Grab a screwdriver and stab the shit out of the speaker, that shuts them up fairly reliably.

But in all seriousness I refuse to go to a gas station with ads on the pumps because fuck that shit. Old gas stations are the way to go (for now).

Mine will just turn it down in the middle of a song, I don’t need your bullshit samsung. I plug it into the car and control the volume from there so every once in a while I have to turn it back up because fuck me I guess.

I am not a doctor nor familiar with any related laws so of course I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Is there a reason you couldn’t tell the parents “Of course, right away” and then ask them to leave the room? When they leave the room you could ask the daughter what answer she wants you to give the parents, then call them back in and give them that answer.

People who believe in virginity tests aren’t going to stop because you turned them away they will just continue until they get what they want. You might as well do the girl a favor and get those assholes off her back even if it is temporary.