But we have so much experience! I, too, was once a child for nearly 18 years! /s

How are vocal sound effects going to help?

unstop

restop

destop

unredestop

antistart

Holy shit, lol

This is the boring Jurassic Park I expected

I’d try to sarcastically fake-gasp, but I’m worried I might inhale my own face

You aren’t supposed to, but you definitely should. Stare everyone deeply in their eyeballs and stick the whole bowl of the spoon in your mouth. Then add everyone else’s spoons to your mouth one at a time. Keep eye-contact.